Can be the current role of a child/adolescent or the Inner Child of an adult who filled this role growing up
One who has a strong desire to be validated, valued, and approved of by others- mainly her primary caregivers. They seek to do this by meeting all expectations to the point of suppressing parts of their identity and emotions, conforming, and/or prioritizing the needs of others over self.
Characteristics: Strives for perfectionism, polite, quiet, self-less, agreeable, submissive, respectful, non-confrontational, righteous.
A "Golden Child" or "Hero" is a dysfunctional family role in which the child is held to high expectations & be very good at everything to please their parents as they have learned this makes them loved and values. Their worth has been contingent upon their achievements/accomplishments. They may appear shy, quiet, smart/academically driven, and overall "low maintenance".
Some believe that being a "good kid" or "golden child" is a result of having a narcissistic parent. While no significant link has been discovered, it is important to differentiate between being a Narcissist/having Narcissistic Personality Disorder and having Narcissistic tendencies.
Two Narcissistic tendencies that often overlap with parenthood are:
These are also characteristics of the Authoritarian parenting style. It's important to focus more on the parenting behaviors that result in the creation of the Good Girl rather than a label of narcissism.
Remember, every parent-child relationship dynamic looks different.
There are a variety of mental health concerns that can result from the Good Girl role.
The parent-child relationship heavily influences development and healthy functioning in adulthood. As an adult, your inner child is a Good Girl it suggests that there were some needs that went unmet in childhood and an insecure attachment with your parent.
Self-worth being contingent upon external factors has been linked to anxiety, depression, and low self-worth. As an adult, your inner child being a Good Girl suggests that you were taught that your worthiness and value was based on what you could achieve, how much others approved of you, and/or what you could do for other people.
People Pleasing: Placing the needs of others over your own, altering your behavior for the approval of others.
Perfectionism: Striving for perfectionism, setting unrealistic standards, extreme fear of failure, self-worth is related to achievements and accomplishments
Suppression of Self: Hiding parts of yourself because they may be rejected or seen as undesirable, conforming to the ideal version of you that someone else created
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