Dear Good Girl
  • Home
  • Therapy Focuses
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Maya's Blog
  • More
    • Home
    • Therapy Focuses
    • About Us
    • Contact Us
    • Maya's Blog
Dear Good Girl
  • Home
  • Therapy Focuses
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Maya's Blog

Explore Therapy Focuses

Explore Therapy FocusesExplore Therapy FocusesExplore Therapy Focuses
Learn More

relevant concepts

The Good Girl Explained:

Can be the current role of a child/adolescent or the Inner Child of an adult who filled this role growing up


One who has a strong desire to be validated, valued, and approved of by others- mainly her primary caregivers. They seek to do this by meeting all expectations to the point of suppressing parts of their identity and emotions, conforming, and/or prioritizing the needs of others over self. 

Characteristics: Strives for perfectionism, polite, quiet, self-less, agreeable, submissive, respectful, non-confrontational, righteous. 

"Golden Child Syndrome"

 A "Golden Child" or "Hero" is a dysfunctional family role in which the child is held to high expectations & be very good at everything to please their parents as they have learned this makes them loved and values. Their worth has been contingent upon their achievements/accomplishments. They may appear shy, quiet, smart/academically driven, and overall "low maintenance".  

Narcissism & the Golden Child

 Some believe that being a "good kid" or "golden child" is a result of having a narcissistic parent. While no significant link has been discovered, it is important to differentiate between being a Narcissist/having Narcissistic Personality Disorder and having Narcissistic tendencies. 

Two Narcissistic tendencies that often overlap with parenthood are:

  • Inflated sense of your own importance 
    • "I'm the Mother/Father/Parent and you're the child. I know what's best."
    • "I know you better than you know yourself."
  • Deep need for admiration 
    • Respect your parents at all times.
    • Expressing a dislike or disagreement is interpreted as disrespect

These are also characteristics of the Authoritarian parenting style. It's important to focus more on the parenting behaviors that result in the creation of the Good Girl rather than a label of narcissism. 

Remember, every parent-child relationship dynamic looks different. 

Mental Health Concerns

 There are a variety of mental health concerns that can result from the Good Girl role. 

The parent-child relationship heavily influences development and healthy functioning in adulthood. As an adult, your inner child is a Good Girl it suggests that there were some needs that went unmet in childhood and an insecure attachment with your parent. 

Self-worth being contingent upon external factors has been linked to anxiety, depression, and low self-worth. As an adult, your inner child being a Good Girl suggests that you were taught that your worthiness and value was based on what you could achieve, how much others approved of you, and/or what you could do for other people. 

The Three Pillars of being a "Good Girl"

People Pleasing: Placing the needs of others over your own, altering your behavior for the approval of others. 

Perfectionism: Striving for perfectionism, setting unrealistic standards, extreme fear of failure, self-worth is related to achievements and accomplishments 

Suppression of Self:  Hiding parts of yourself because they may be rejected or seen as undesirable, conforming to the ideal version of you that someone else created

InstagramLinkedIn
InstagramLinkedIn
InstagramLinkedIn
InstagramLinkedIn
InstagramLinkedIn
InstagramLinkedIn

Copyright © 2023 Dear Good Girl - All Rights Reserved. 

  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions

Powered by GoDaddy

This website uses cookies.

We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.

Accept